Flashback Weekend

New York, that is the very, very strange (in a good and bad way) place that I live in now. During the last couple of weeks, I've had a couple of friends visit me during a blizzard, and followed up with my department's recruitment weekend. Recruitment is when candidates for the post-doc and PhD tracks are invited to come into town for interviews with the faculty and a tour of New York with the graduate students. Comparing this year and last year, I feel like there's a pretty common trend in the candidate's behavior. Something that made me really happy was that the department chose to interview a candidate who was in very much the same position as I was last year (still finishing a BS). Comparing myself to her made me instantly think of my time last year. The whole interview process was just so surreal, and I hope that she gets the same feeling that I got.

When I came in on Thursday night, I was in total shock. I was in New York, by myself! I had a whole world in front of me, but also no one to hold my back. On Friday, I met lots of people, too many to remember. I was finally meeting the professors that made the professors that I had been working with legendary. Talking to the other students, I often felt that I was out of my league; they had so much life experience, and a streak of determination. Extremely tired, I went to bed quite early that night after meeting some of the other graduate students after dinner. I think I reached my defining moment during Saturday Brunch. Even though my potential cohort was so smart and passionate about the work, they wouldn't hesitate for a second to help me. They showed me that an Ivy was not an automatic declaration of arrogance, and false self-efficacy. Now people of the latter type do exist in the Ivies; I have met plenty in my time here, but I wouldn't give up my department for the world. Not to mention, that I had my own contributions to make.

For now, I hope that the candidates that I met find what they're looking for. Whether it be Columbia (I hope so), or not, I wish them the best of luck.

Time and Relativity

I lied. This post has nothing to do with physics. The last few weeks have seem to flown by. Even the weekends, when I mostly just sit around doing nothing (I really do need this just quite mental break), seem to go by so quickly. I can't believe that it's been a month since I've last written something, and we're almost at the end of October.

In the past month, time has been such a relative concept. It seems like I never have enough time to do anything. I find myself spending so much time trying to finish homework; I seem to barely parcel out enough time for research and running/myself. I have become increasingly caffeine driven (the ubiquity of Starbucks and other coffee brands being right around the corner, literally, is not helping at all). At the same time, I have impressed myself by how much I can accomplish and how much I have learned from my classes, classmates, and friends. I have learned so much from my classes; things that I thought were reserved for the specialists who considered those skills trade secrets. From my classmates, I have learned so much about balance in life, and from my friends, I have I still have left to learn.

I have been able to maintain a very strong friendship with my friends back in Ohio. Thank you technology! Between Google Hangouts with my old club, IMing friends, text messaging, fitness trackers, I fee like I'm still with them but just delayed on getting all the inside jokes.

Overall, I'm pretty happy, except when I feel like I have to grind out homework so I can finally do other things.

--Edit:

That was a very scatterbrained and vague post.

I'm so happy for two of my bests who got engaged (to each other)! I wish many, many happy years to you guys.

Grad school is going well. I had a really rough and draining week, a couple of weeks ago, but luckily my classmates and closest friends in NY talked me through it. Sometimes, I'm really happy that I'm the youngest of the group.

Three Weeks

According to Blogger, it has been 3 weeks since I've posted here. While reading the blog post, there are parts that I find familiar, and parts that I can't be sure that I wrote. However, there is one part that I don't even have to read to know. I still get that same high when I go to the office on most days of the week, but that is of little long-term consequence.

I've been wondering how I've changed over the last three weeks. One of the things that had really worried me towards the end of high school (probably more due to senioritis) and part of college, was this feeling that I wasn't trying hard enough. During that time, when looking back after a bad grade or a stressful week, I often felt like I had ended up not getting enough done, not having enough internal motivation, or working hard enough. While I still feel this way sometimes (especially Thursday afternoons after a long Wednesday and knowing that I have class from 4 to 9 (2 hour break in between)), lately, I've definitely felt more satisfied with my effort. I find myself being more internally motivated to work and more willing to work. Perhaps it's partially due to my better to-do list apps (thanks Astrid), or the change in environment. At least for now, I am very satisfied with myself.

I think the one area that I am not extremely happy with is running. While I've continually tried to put my best foot down on this area, alas, I have not formed a consistent routine yet. I think that it hurts to have class until 8 or 9 three times a week. Previously, I was not a morning person, and that is something that still for the most part has not changed yet. Hopefully, by my next entry, I will have done better. There's always hopeful wishing right?

We're not in Ohio anymore are we?

Without a doubt, the past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind experience. There is no real way to summarize the experience (thank you Methods I course). Everyone and thing are so different.

I think that New York is proving one time-old college axiom very true. Here, you can have only 2 out of the following 3 things successfully: sleep, a social life, good grades/research. With late night craziness/fun starting at midnight, I find myself stretching the work hard, play hard mentality to the maximum.

I used to be a pretty calm and withdrawn person, and I'd say that relative to my friends, I'm probably still that way. I am mostly definitely getting a huge thrill out of pushing myself past my normal comfort zone though. Whether it's pushing myself to cram weeks of undergraduate programming classes into my head in a matter of hours or rushing to the Meat Packing district to join my friends for a late night drink, I can say that New York has pushed me to recognize my former limits and accelerate past them. I can only hope that I hang on as long as possible.

Compound Emotions

As with everyone who moves, I find myself in a mixture of bittersweet emotions. I am one part bursting with joy, one part filled with nervousness, one part consumed by sadness, and one part losing to numbness.

I am filled with joy as I am making a dream come true. I am learning what I love at a school that couldn't be better. My parents and friends are all supporting me. Also, now I am truly on my own. As in this is about as close as it gets to a trial run at life. My parents are now no longer just a two hour drive on the weekend. While I am living on campus, it is in every way an apartment. I signed a real lease today with the school; I have my own (rather spacious) room with a great view (and therefore windows). In other words, I am living the perfect opportunity right now, not just academically/professionally, but also in terms of coming of age.

At the same time, the same reasons that I'm so happy are the same reasons I am so nervous. While this is an amazing opportunity, there is also incredible risk. I am testing out the waters at such a high level. Academically, there is no other place to be. However, the flip side of going to a school this great is that the expectation of what will come out of me is also equally high. I can only hope that I can stay on for the ride. While Columbus was living on my own, moving here takes it to a whole new level. I no longer have my parents to help me out physically or financially. I'm sure that if I have a problem, I can turn to them for advice, but ultimately, everything falls on me. If I forgot something at home (currently 7-ish things), my parents cannot make the drive to bring it to campus for me.

Perhaps the side of moving that people think the least about until it actually happens is the people, things, and places that you leave behind. I know I'm leaving a lot of family, friends, and familiar places behind for the new. Oddly, in a time when most the friends that I graduated high school with are now back in Ohio somewhere, I find myself leaving. The friends that I have made at Ohio State over the last four years are sadly, also, no longer part of my life. While some have left like me, many are still there. Only time can bring a new set of friends.

With all this newness and lack of oldness grows this "numbingness". Today as I brought all of the boxes into my room, my dad asked me what we should do. I just stared right back at him. Partially inexperienced, partially unable to comprehend the situation, I had no idea what to tell him. In a way, in this sea of emotion, I am just emotionless. I have no idea, what or how I should be thinking or feeling right now. Perhaps, that's not such a bad response. There is no overriding emotion, just semi-planning and execution.

Pre-requisites

As my departure from Ohio reaches the T-12ish house mark, I have tried spending more and more time with my friends. As I've grown up, my definition of friends has quite changed. I remember when my grandparents use to laugh at my loose definition of what a friend was during junior high. Since I've always been a believer in quality over quantity, I have usually kept my groups small. During the last few days, I have spent so much time reminiscing with friends. It's led me to wonder how I've been making friends over the last few years, since I'll have to start all over again.

In high school, I had move right before freshman year, so I pretty much had a restart. My few friends were based on the people I had classes with. Luckily, with loads of honors and AP classes, I was able to develop my small group of invaluable friends. My criteria then changed from playing tag to being able to challenge and support me. If I found out that you have not voted for me for student government... I kid. My friends were well chosen, and I couldn't have asked for a better group. While high school drama was still present among my friends, I was able to mostly navigate my way through.

During college, most of my friends could be categorized into three-ish groups. I was super fortunate to find Running Club. The thing about running is that for some reason, it also makes people have this crazy passion for whatever they're doing. It's amazing the kind of conversations you can have with your running partner. I have had some of the funniest, most fun, and deepest conversations on those runs. The other major group of friends came from those in my dorm freshmen and sophomore year. Especially during freshman year, I found a couple of friends during my spring quarter that I will surely have for the rest of the year. The kind of friends who grow with you. We went from staying up until 4am and watching The Office to happy hours after work and deep discussions about life. I can't wait for our Google Hangout on Friday! The last group of friends are my friends from work. They make waking up and going to the office every day lots of fun (work is very interesting of course!).

Now, I'll be leaving Ohio, starting a new life with new friends.

The New Super Highway

Since it's been a while since I've written in this, I guess, it might be most appropriate to start with an update.

Today marks the middle of August. Normally, this would have little bearing on my life; Ohio State used to start in late September. However, since graduating my life has taken a slight turn in life. I traveled around "extensively". Since returning to the States again (/since the last post), I have noticed that I have become a workaholic, almost. Not to say that I didn't enjoy my free time, but lately, I had been finding myself staying at the office until 6 or 7. Sadly, this also means that I have had to make other adjustments, namely, run on my own more frequently, which turns out to not be nearly as painful as I had been worrying about.

For the first time, I find myself packing up for school in mid-August. Next week, I'll be moving to the city that never sleeps to seek the knowledge of the greats ("avoid getting a job"). This upcoming commitment has been a double edge sword, filling me with confidence (I got chosen for a very exclusive graduate program!) and casting doubt in myself (How did I get here? Am I ready?). More and more so, I have been looking at my new life (graduate student) as a rare opportunity. It's funny how things work out. A year ago at this time, I was freaking out about the future. My plan for medical school was falling apart, while my path to graduate school was all but certain. Now, with the help of my research advisors, lots of practice, and (probably) a whole lot of luck, my rare opportunity has turned into a new life path.

So here's to a new fork in the road that went from being hidden in the dark and forbidden forest to the new super highway. If you wanted a preview of my very immediately upcoming life: PhD Comics.

A Little Bit of Community

Last night, as I was watching the USA National Team game, I happened to see that the next screen over at the bar was this year's Wisconsin/Ohio State game that made Braxton Miller famous. By this time, the USA game was well over (it was never really a game to begin with). Even though, I'm quite sure everyone at the bar had already watched this particular football game (and some probably over and over). However, when the moment came for Miller to make his running pass that would catapult him to prominence, everyone focused on a single screen, and anyone who talked was instantly glared at. As Devin Smith caught the ball, the entire bar erupted in cheers and applause 9 months and many replays later.

Even though I have written about this before a lot, it never fails to surprise me. The community here depends so much on football. When I first started at Ohio State, I hated this fact. That Ohio State was defined by its football. As I have lived here for four years now, I have begun to see that perhaps the relationship is a little more complex. That perhaps, while it is football that (sadly) brings us together, it is the people that make up the community. This undoubtedly creates a fanboy collection; however, this is found everywhere, and I certainly do not see myself turning into one anytime soon.

Endings

As I start approaching the inevitable end of my college experience, it is only appropriate to take a slight look open. On the eve of my next step forward, I spent most of my day and night relaxing, but also review the past three years. However; this entry is not to lament the past, but to cherish the journey that I have traveled, and the light at the end of the road.

I can say that I am very happy to be reaching the city limits of where I will be eventually exiting. Over the next few weeks, I will be calling many people and traveling to different places. Even just a few months before, I would have never imagined this. That the ending that I seek is in the final straight stretch. No more long winding turns to make. The path of college is beginning to become less forked for the first time since three years ago.

Short and sweet, plus this was super meaningful. I like it.

New Years and a New Beginning

So there are multiple advantages to posting one's Resolutions online. They are easy to access, and along those lines, it is easy for people to pressure you into sticking or doing them (at least, the "perception" of this is also very strong). While I tend not to make these because they may make me sad when I don't do them all (like several from last year), there's always hope for a better year right? I actually wasn't too bad last year. I hit 3 out of the 4 or 5 that I set for myself.

1. Keep my room clean: I am not a slob. At least, I don't consider myself one. While filling out the college roommate form, I marked myself as cluttered (defined as: having lots of stuff, but organizing them in a particular way). I am hoping; however, that attention to little things such as keeping my desk clear or making my bed every morning, will be encourage the development of a more organized lifestyle. I try pretty hard at this actually, Evernote and my meticulously designed folder system in Gmail and on my computer are testaments to this, but I find that my anal attentiveness has its limits.

2. Give a compelling argument to graduate schools: There are many things that I cannot control anymore, my GRE scores, my letters of recommendation, my GPA (for the most part), but there are things that I can still control. My goal this year is to submit the remaining applications to the best of my abilities. Naturally this resolution also includes getting into graduate school.

3. Qualify for the Boston Marathon: This has been my goal throughout college, but one that has evaded me during the last three and a half years. Throughout the last three years, I had spent my time building up both my physical strength and confidence to train and prepare for a marathon with a qualifying goal time. This past summer, all my efforts came to a shattering halt when I got hurt during my first 20 mile run. After spending most of my fall on recovering, cross-training and mentally resting, I find myself ready to once again chase my dream. My target marathon is the Cleveland Marathon, and my target time is anything quicker than 3 hours.

4. Enjoy the rest of senior year: So far this academic year has been filled with solidifying my closest friendships in college, especially with those who are grades below me. Given my enduring friendship with the group that I graduated high school with, I would say that spending time and enjoying the rest of my senior year with my closest friends is pretty important and defining.

5. A new hobby: A conscious decision that I made during the summer of my freshmen year was to consolidate what I devoted my time to. During the last three years, I have faithfully stuck to that decision. Despite several attempts during sophomore year to reach out, I maintained four core areas: school, research, volunteering and running. One of the biggest parts of my life that got cut during college was a creative hobby. After dabbling in a couple of "failed" creative projects during sophomore and junior year, I find myself wanting to try again in this area. While I occasionally finger at the piano while I am at home, I find it difficult to steal a practice room in the music department. Additionally, I already recognize that it will be very hard for me to return to my previous level of devotion. I hope that this year, I can find something to replace this former love of mine.

On a semi-related note: I discovered a new website, Thought Catalogue, that I really like. I found it from a friend's post. The article that I read incidentally was about New Year's Resolutions. Needless to say, I thought very highly of the post and am now addicted to this site. Check it out!

Lots of Food and New Things

Definitely one of the best vacations I've had in a very long time. The improper grammar should be an indication of its greatness. So without further ado, here is a sneak peak!

Somehow, my mom, brother and I managed to persuade my dad to go on a cruise for Christmas (with all the other family friends of course). The one vacation that had evaded my family (a couple of us are particularly prone to motion-sickness) was finally within grasps. After suffering through the long drive to Miami, we got on the cruise with just enough time to spare.

Almost immediately after getting onto the cruise, I started to eat, which resulted in this:

Fast forward through a safety drill, and I watched one of my first sunsets in a very long time:

Dinner was quite impressive, and my Mahi Mahi tasted really good. Fortunately, I didn't know that I could order multiples of things (which lead to delicious overeating of desert the next few nights), so I only ordered one dish from each course. That night I desperately tried to catch up on reading Brisingr (probably the only time, I have for casual reading).

The second morning, my brother and I spent most of our day in Nassau, Bahamas. There we snorkeled (picture way above is the water there). Snorkeling was so much fun; I'm definitely buying some equipment before next time. After a quick nap while everyone else was running around trying to find things to do, we went to dinner, where my brother promptly decided to stuff himself (2 entree dishes). The comedy show after dinner, was the greatest case of a mix bag performance ever. Trying to occupy our time afterwards, our group decided to play Mafia. However, the effort to demonstrate to our parents how to play the game quickly turned south and quickly reminded me why I rarely play games with my parents.

The third day, we went to a private beach (I can't believe cruise lines own their own islands).

After deciding to sleep in on Christmas for the first time in who knows how many years, I finally got up at around 10, thanks to my persistent alarm (my mom). A quick breakfast, and my family and I were on the tender heading towards the island. The sand on the island was so clean and soft compared to the hard, gritty sand in Michigan. Besides burying my brother in the sun a couple of times, I also had a healthy dose of sun, snorkeling, turkey burgers and sleep. Dinner was fine as always, and our final night was filled with a surprisingly good Christmas show (the singers were really good). After the show, my friends and I sat out on the deck and played board games. It was so nice and peaceful; I miss it already. Overall, it was a wonderful trip, and you can bet that I'll be going on more.

Growing Up

As I prepare my end-of-the year budgeting audit for my parents, I have once again realized that I have spent way more money than I have made and must once again depend on my parents to settle everything. I hate that I cannot be self-sufficient, especially when my parents have already provided unlimited support for me. I used to be such a good kid. I always did what my parents told me to do, frugal, worked hard. I defined the typical Asian boy. Now fast forward even just a few years, on the brinks of growing up, graduating and being on my own, I still have yet to master the small things like how to talk to people, how to manage my finances or study hard on my own, let alone figure out a realistic future for myself. Furthermore, throughout the last two years, I have (mostly) freely skipped out on what my dad refers to as the number one social obligation of an Asian. While this is definitely a story for another time, I think in hindsight, he'd probably be glad, as that obligation comes at great costs, especially with the people I tend to meet it seems. Oh whoops semi-sidetracked.

Ok back to the original post topic. Sometimes it seems like I have spent the last three years regressing. On my own, I formed some pretty bad habits, that I spent much of this year fighting and "reprogramming". But despite these changes, I still find myself falling behind what I use to be and what I wanted myself to become. Perhaps, nothing hits as hard as looking at the college plans I had for myself when I entered freshman year. They were goals that were seemingly simple: run the Boston Marathon, do well in school/get into medical school, be happy and a few others. Through the last year, I knew that I would be sitting here today, not matching all of those goals. At least at that time, I had the delusion/plan to salvage parts of my plan/list of goals for college. Now a year later, I am more keen on the realities of my world and probable future.

This is generally not how you want to end things (research has shown that the emotion attached to the end of an experiences has an overwhelming effect its perception later), but I guess this is what I have. If you say I should look towards the future and a new year, I may never talk to you again. This is not being sad or depressed (clinical term, not to be used lightly), but a reality of what the last three years and a half years have been from an objective standpoint.

Plans and Expectations

For some reason I keep on coming back to this one one blog. It's the one that I started with during the beginning of college. It's also the that has all of the joys and pains from all three years catalogued in one consolidated place. Perhaps, I'll archive it one day soon, and start over during the summer when I (hopefully) go to graduate school. Speaking of social networks I also started a Tumblr account, which I had originally designed to post a picture of everyday remaining of senior year, but so far that I haven't been able to contribute to it as frequently as I liked. Unfortunately, Finals has taken a toll on my time even in general.

So for the deeper meaning part of the entry:

This has been one of the worst weeks in quite a while. From a psychological perspective, I should probably wait until the end of the week to write this, after I've had some time to unwind and hang out with friends (end-experience perception, first explained in pain psychology); however, as I sit and fix my friend's computer, I find myself wanting to express my self and the anger now.

During the last few years, I have really tried to learn to take things in strides; however, there are some moments that are just too overwhelming to not express. This week, especially today, was not one of those times that I could really easily stay at my normal calm. It just seemed like one bad decision or outcome was compounding onto the next. While I tried my best to allot the correct amount of time to studying for my health psychology final, my attempt to memorize as much as possible for my biochemistry final the same day just required too much time. Even though I had already decided to play grade defense as much as possible, I continued to study for biochemistry far longer than I should have. Even with this increased time allotted to studying for biochemistry, I still felt unprepared as always. After taking my 7:30am biochemistry final, I was just too tired to try and study again, so I napped between my classes, which killed off even more time, that I really should have just toughed out and studied through in hindsight. Of course, hindsight is 20/20, so realistically, I have no clue whether I would have studied the right material, but the chance that I could have deeply saddens me.

After an exhausting day, I took a rest, which ended with my inability to go back to studying for the night. This pushed writing a 10 page extra credit paper (that I ended up skipping in favor of studying for another test), to the day that it was due. After studying for microbiology for several hours, I decided that I should sit down and write the paper, but it just didn't happen. I continuously changed the topic that I wanted to focus on, partially due to research I was finding and partially due to my lack of desire to make any real progress. Regardless, when I finally went to bed at 4am on Wednesday morning, I felt like I was very well prepared for my final. While, I wish I could say that the exam the next morning went smoothly, the truth is that it was far from that. While I think I actually did pretty well on the exam, the circumstances surrounding the test were so stressful.

In the end, I think that this week will be acceptable. While I am already feeling better, thanks to my advisor's dinner for the my research group, I feel like I still have a long road ahead of me for the rest of the week.

So the week's discovery is this. Despite the best planning, life is all about tearing those plans up. Whether it is reality or yourself that tears those plans up, nothing is what you expect it to be.

Disappointment

We are constantly preparing for everything we do: school, personal lives, running, work, a musical solo, the list goes on. They say that practice makes perfect. While it definitely does make whatever we're doing easier, it definitely does not guarantee that everything goes right, according to plan or even produces an acceptable result. In light of these defeats, it is so important to consider what went wrong and what went right.

Last week, my club team and I went to the NIRCA Cross Country National Championships. The biggest cross country race of the year for club sports with over 1000 runners total and plenty of quality runners. In the weeks leading up to the race, I fell into a habit of running strong early in the week, only to be overwhelmed by school, work and trying to maintain a group of close friends during the end of the week. My long runs turned into non-existent runs, and my Thursday speed workouts turned into nap time. Looking back, I was thoroughly under prepared for Nationals. Perhaps the only thing that remotely helped me was the rowing class, I had started going to on Fridays.

During the actual race itself, I started strong and felt that I was very consistent pulling through the 5k mark in just over 18 minutes (I'm by no means fast, but I do like to think of myself as not slow). However, the last 3k resulted in a screeching halt as I got progressively slower, eventually walking, feeling sick to the stomach, with cramped abdominal muscles. For the first time in over a year and a half, I walked during a race. While, I ended up running a personal best in the 8k, I can positively say that it was a terrible race for me.

This entire season (summer and fall) has been a a rocky one for me. I set a personal record in both the 5k (early during my marathon training) and a personal record in the 8k. At the same time, I have been plagued by injury (late pull-out of the Columbus) and disappointing races. However, just like in life, the only thing you can do from the highs and lows is to take the lesson out of the journey and try not to make the same mistake again.

Originally posted here.

It's Almost November

In fact, it will be November tomorrow. Some other things that have happend are that I may be getting better at running/better than I thought, Washington DC is way more fun when you just go to eat (and do some work) and senior year is just never easy. I am pretty sure I've racked up more library hours this half quarter than an entire year out of the last three (though, it did take a long time to get over going to the library by myself, so that may be a confounding factor).

Even though I always say that I will write more on this blog, something always happens, I get busy, I end up wanting to write something else, etc. Anyway, I've decided that instead of doing homework before my next lecture, it would be better to write as much of this blog post as possible.

Mostly, I am still in the disbelief that tomorrow will be November. While this quarter always seems to go by fast, it seems super fast this year. I don't know whether it's because I'm spending time reminiscing about the last three years as I walk from building to building (realistically, probably not), or whether I've once again managed to overbook myself, even though I totally promised myself I wouldn't do that this year. Whoops! However, the fall does always bring about one wonderful thing. Despite my injury at the end of the summer, I have recovered mostly it seems, which makes fall all the more enjoyable. As I was running through the metropark yesterday on leaves-covered trails, I stopped worrying about my run and just had a great conversation with a friend. A couple of weeks ago, I even ran a sub 6:30 pace 8K. Last year, I was rather afraid that I had reached my peak, but it seems like a still have a few seconds left to take off. As the leaves continue to fall, I am reminded that my perfectly cool running days are numbered until next year.

Last week I also got a chance to go to AMIA (Informatics conference) last week. It was in Washington DC this year. So I flew out right after regionals to Reagan, nearly missing my outbound from Columbus because I couldn't find my keys. The next few days were filled with meetings, seminars and tourism-ing punctuated by fine dining (well fine dining to a college student). Since I'm definitely not a foodie, I definitely did not take pictures of the food, but I will say that it was expensive and delicious. Also important is that I was able to make some important contacts with professors at other university (graduate school applications :D ).

Why Hello There?

So it has been quite a while since the last post. In fact, I have gone on several weekend trips, finished a summer quarter (but not in school) and run a lot of miles. At the same time, Apple is starting to ban sales of competing tablets, Google has bought Motorola Mobility, Nortel patents were purchased by a group of tech leaders, Steve Jobs resigned as CEO of Apple and DoJ is filing against the proposed merger of AT&T and T-Mobile.

In other more meaningful news, I have had a wonderful summer! I was able to learn a lot from my internship, including what I kind of want to do with my life. Now that my summer internship is over (but I have elected to stay with the department indefinitely), I actually have some time to reflect. So a couple of things to reflect on:

1. I am not that special. While this may seem very depressing and against the current teachings of grade school, there is actually some solace in this. Since my path is not unique, there are many that I can rely on for advice and help. I was the oldest in my internship group this summer, two having just finished their freshmen year and one just starting college in the fall. Interestingly, I can sense a part of my life that mirrors every one of theirs. Whether it's a personal thing, a coming-of-age transition or trying to figure out a calling, I saw my life being repeated by them. Just as I gave them advice, I was able to receive advice from my friends who are older and wiser. Previously, I had just taken their stories and experiences as anecdotes, but really those stories were chances to analyze the decisions. The reason this blog is named Forked Path Life is not just that life is a series of paths (decisions) that people take (make), but it is also a history for ourselves and others to observe and reflect upon. Hopefully, my friends will find my advice as useful as I find theirs.
2. It doesn't take much for the future to hit you. The good thing about school is that everything is planned for you. You have to take X amount of classes in categories A, B and C. Generally, this leads to lots of planning, or in other words control. As an American student, life can become very much a series of wish years of plans. Junior high (low levels of planning) followed by high school (general awareness of the importance of planning) and then college (general awareness of the importance of planning multiple times). As my internship was wrapping up, the other interns and I started discussing plans for when school started. While discussing our classes was a relatively mundane task, my lack of a solid idea of what my next four or five years (if I get really lucky) after college would be like started to really sink in. Pelotonia is the annual charity bike ride for the James Cancer Hospital; a great experience that can definitely challenge the body. Since the department has many avid triathletes, this was something we (the interns) considered doing together next year. While discussing a training plan, it really started to sink in, that I may not be around Columbus at that time. That for the first time in a few years, I have no clue what will be happening after the second week of June. Needless to say for the next few minutes, I was lost in my own thoughts during that meeting. Even now, I continue to wonder what I will be doing in a year.

And (hopefully) all posts will end with a picture or video that I thought was pretty inspiring, interesting or moving.

This links to a video by Neil Pasricha, who created the blog 1000 Awesome Things. In the video you highlights the reason behind his blog and the life lessons he learned from it. http://www.ted.com/talks/neil_pasricha_the_3_a_s_of_awesome.html

A Crazy Weekend

Surprisingly, this weekend marked one of the few times that I was actually in the home for Independence Day (In the last 5 years, I was in Canada, China and Michigan.) Being rarely home for such an event, I tried to and successfully made the weekend very fun-packed, which is good except that I have a lot of work to do now :(

On Friday, one of my Mom's friend's family came over. It was great to see them again, since I haven't seen them since I was in 8th grade or so before I left Louisiana. His son has grown so much between the last time I seen him. Listening to his Chinese put me in shame. Unfortunately, they arrive quite late in the night, since traffic was really bad.

Saturday and Sunday were filled by another friend from the past. I finally reunited with one of my first friends in the United States (Wow! I haven't considered that until just now.). We haven't seen each other since I left Louisiana, too (such a nostalgic weekend). Even after all these years, we talked and caught up for hours on all the years that had passed us by (even though we're not that old). Since nothing I write can possibly express how glad/happy/ecstatic that we were able to see each other again after so many years apart, I'm not going to elaborate too much. But it was definitely two days very well spent.

It is also probably worth noting that I saw Transformers: Dark of the Moon, which I thoroughly enjoyed. While it didn't bring the awe of the first movie (Original concepts can only be original once right?), I must say that this movie was substantially better than the second one. While the opening was a bit lacking, the rest of the story line definitely made up for the opening.

Then today, I went to a work party, which was lots of fun as always, filled with funny conversation. I also learned that while the rest of the interns are generally pretty fun-loving and calm, one of my co-workers is very competitive.

Under the Mild Heat of Summer

     So unfortunately I haven't found a way to spruce up the blog, but I have started my internship, marathon training and being much busier than before.
     The internship is going rather well. The major difficulty that the other interns and I are facing is IRB approval. For those of you who don't do a lot of research, IRB is the acronym for the Institutional Review Board, which is in charge of overseeing the ethical issues that arise in research projects, especially those that involve human or animal subjects. While this makes work a bit boring, the people are great! I have learned so much even about myself from them. I am the oldest in my intern team (two freshman and another entering college). There are also a couple of graduate students on another team, and another high school student on yet another team. Talking to each of them has made me realize how much I have changed since my high school days, but I'll save those details for another time, probably towards the end of the summer.
     Marathon training has been going well except for the long runs, which have been suffering due to weekend trips to anywhere other than Columbus. I really need to focus on sticking to the plan regardless of where I am. Hopefully, I'll be able to take some pictures of the beautiful woods that I do my long run trainings on.
     Also thoughts about post-college are starting to get serious now, which is kind of scary. I can't believe that I have been at OSU for three years now. All the experiences that I have had have changed me so much, but luckily I think that they have prepared me well in being ready for life afterwards, whatever it may be. I just can't believe that it's here now.

Complete with 180's

In the past couple of weeks, I was able to pull of or see quite a few complete 180's from either earlier this quarter or really in the past. For instance, this blog is being written at 8 am, instead of the usual 2 am reflection time.

In a showing finally befitting of the reason I got into Ohio State, I manage to pull off remarkably good finals grades, something I feel like I haven't done in a while, which is quite sad. In other news, I am actually attempting to clean my room this week, instead of letting it clutter up like during the school year. I also went from highly unemployed to highly employed for the summer last week, too. Hopefully, it'll stay clean for a few days at least. Also, the Dallas Mavericks are 2011 NBA Champions.

Actually I think that's about it for complete 180's. Maybe I haven't changed as much as I had thought.

Other things on my mind: I really need to spruce up this blog somehow, need to figure out what I'm doing after the summer (story of my life), find a summer vacation or two and figure out how to run faster.

The Uncertainty of Endings

Being week 10, the end of the quarter is staring me down with all of its weight. Over the past few weeks, I have mysteriously accumulated a lot of work to do. Besides my two day anatomy final, I still have to read about a hundred pages for classics class. Also as usual, I decided to put myself in charge of my grades, or in other words, I managed to sneak myself into several borderline grades meaning I better whip myself into mental shape for these crucial exams. However, at least I can think that I am in charge of my own grade? One can always hope at least. 


Then there is always the question of what are you doing this summer? Well unfortunately, the question is still I have no idea. Yes the quarter is ending in a week for me, and I still have no idea what I'm doing, which is freaking me out. Now given that I have no idea what I am doing, I can say that I will hopefully be working a lot on improving/focusing on this blog. I have no idea what I'm going to do to add to the blog, but I will hopefully think of something. Also I know for sure that I will be training for my first marathon (and hopefully qualifying for Boston).


AH! I just want to know what I'm going to do this summer! (And that my hard work will pay off and I will get A's in my classes)