Time and Relativity

I lied. This post has nothing to do with physics. The last few weeks have seem to flown by. Even the weekends, when I mostly just sit around doing nothing (I really do need this just quite mental break), seem to go by so quickly. I can't believe that it's been a month since I've last written something, and we're almost at the end of October.

In the past month, time has been such a relative concept. It seems like I never have enough time to do anything. I find myself spending so much time trying to finish homework; I seem to barely parcel out enough time for research and running/myself. I have become increasingly caffeine driven (the ubiquity of Starbucks and other coffee brands being right around the corner, literally, is not helping at all). At the same time, I have impressed myself by how much I can accomplish and how much I have learned from my classes, classmates, and friends. I have learned so much from my classes; things that I thought were reserved for the specialists who considered those skills trade secrets. From my classmates, I have learned so much about balance in life, and from my friends, I have I still have left to learn.

I have been able to maintain a very strong friendship with my friends back in Ohio. Thank you technology! Between Google Hangouts with my old club, IMing friends, text messaging, fitness trackers, I fee like I'm still with them but just delayed on getting all the inside jokes.

Overall, I'm pretty happy, except when I feel like I have to grind out homework so I can finally do other things.

--Edit:

That was a very scatterbrained and vague post.

I'm so happy for two of my bests who got engaged (to each other)! I wish many, many happy years to you guys.

Grad school is going well. I had a really rough and draining week, a couple of weeks ago, but luckily my classmates and closest friends in NY talked me through it. Sometimes, I'm really happy that I'm the youngest of the group.

Three Weeks

According to Blogger, it has been 3 weeks since I've posted here. While reading the blog post, there are parts that I find familiar, and parts that I can't be sure that I wrote. However, there is one part that I don't even have to read to know. I still get that same high when I go to the office on most days of the week, but that is of little long-term consequence.

I've been wondering how I've changed over the last three weeks. One of the things that had really worried me towards the end of high school (probably more due to senioritis) and part of college, was this feeling that I wasn't trying hard enough. During that time, when looking back after a bad grade or a stressful week, I often felt like I had ended up not getting enough done, not having enough internal motivation, or working hard enough. While I still feel this way sometimes (especially Thursday afternoons after a long Wednesday and knowing that I have class from 4 to 9 (2 hour break in between)), lately, I've definitely felt more satisfied with my effort. I find myself being more internally motivated to work and more willing to work. Perhaps it's partially due to my better to-do list apps (thanks Astrid), or the change in environment. At least for now, I am very satisfied with myself.

I think the one area that I am not extremely happy with is running. While I've continually tried to put my best foot down on this area, alas, I have not formed a consistent routine yet. I think that it hurts to have class until 8 or 9 three times a week. Previously, I was not a morning person, and that is something that still for the most part has not changed yet. Hopefully, by my next entry, I will have done better. There's always hopeful wishing right?

We're not in Ohio anymore are we?

Without a doubt, the past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind experience. There is no real way to summarize the experience (thank you Methods I course). Everyone and thing are so different.

I think that New York is proving one time-old college axiom very true. Here, you can have only 2 out of the following 3 things successfully: sleep, a social life, good grades/research. With late night craziness/fun starting at midnight, I find myself stretching the work hard, play hard mentality to the maximum.

I used to be a pretty calm and withdrawn person, and I'd say that relative to my friends, I'm probably still that way. I am mostly definitely getting a huge thrill out of pushing myself past my normal comfort zone though. Whether it's pushing myself to cram weeks of undergraduate programming classes into my head in a matter of hours or rushing to the Meat Packing district to join my friends for a late night drink, I can say that New York has pushed me to recognize my former limits and accelerate past them. I can only hope that I hang on as long as possible.

Compound Emotions

As with everyone who moves, I find myself in a mixture of bittersweet emotions. I am one part bursting with joy, one part filled with nervousness, one part consumed by sadness, and one part losing to numbness.

I am filled with joy as I am making a dream come true. I am learning what I love at a school that couldn't be better. My parents and friends are all supporting me. Also, now I am truly on my own. As in this is about as close as it gets to a trial run at life. My parents are now no longer just a two hour drive on the weekend. While I am living on campus, it is in every way an apartment. I signed a real lease today with the school; I have my own (rather spacious) room with a great view (and therefore windows). In other words, I am living the perfect opportunity right now, not just academically/professionally, but also in terms of coming of age.

At the same time, the same reasons that I'm so happy are the same reasons I am so nervous. While this is an amazing opportunity, there is also incredible risk. I am testing out the waters at such a high level. Academically, there is no other place to be. However, the flip side of going to a school this great is that the expectation of what will come out of me is also equally high. I can only hope that I can stay on for the ride. While Columbus was living on my own, moving here takes it to a whole new level. I no longer have my parents to help me out physically or financially. I'm sure that if I have a problem, I can turn to them for advice, but ultimately, everything falls on me. If I forgot something at home (currently 7-ish things), my parents cannot make the drive to bring it to campus for me.

Perhaps the side of moving that people think the least about until it actually happens is the people, things, and places that you leave behind. I know I'm leaving a lot of family, friends, and familiar places behind for the new. Oddly, in a time when most the friends that I graduated high school with are now back in Ohio somewhere, I find myself leaving. The friends that I have made at Ohio State over the last four years are sadly, also, no longer part of my life. While some have left like me, many are still there. Only time can bring a new set of friends.

With all this newness and lack of oldness grows this "numbingness". Today as I brought all of the boxes into my room, my dad asked me what we should do. I just stared right back at him. Partially inexperienced, partially unable to comprehend the situation, I had no idea what to tell him. In a way, in this sea of emotion, I am just emotionless. I have no idea, what or how I should be thinking or feeling right now. Perhaps, that's not such a bad response. There is no overriding emotion, just semi-planning and execution.

Pre-requisites

As my departure from Ohio reaches the T-12ish house mark, I have tried spending more and more time with my friends. As I've grown up, my definition of friends has quite changed. I remember when my grandparents use to laugh at my loose definition of what a friend was during junior high. Since I've always been a believer in quality over quantity, I have usually kept my groups small. During the last few days, I have spent so much time reminiscing with friends. It's led me to wonder how I've been making friends over the last few years, since I'll have to start all over again.

In high school, I had move right before freshman year, so I pretty much had a restart. My few friends were based on the people I had classes with. Luckily, with loads of honors and AP classes, I was able to develop my small group of invaluable friends. My criteria then changed from playing tag to being able to challenge and support me. If I found out that you have not voted for me for student government... I kid. My friends were well chosen, and I couldn't have asked for a better group. While high school drama was still present among my friends, I was able to mostly navigate my way through.

During college, most of my friends could be categorized into three-ish groups. I was super fortunate to find Running Club. The thing about running is that for some reason, it also makes people have this crazy passion for whatever they're doing. It's amazing the kind of conversations you can have with your running partner. I have had some of the funniest, most fun, and deepest conversations on those runs. The other major group of friends came from those in my dorm freshmen and sophomore year. Especially during freshman year, I found a couple of friends during my spring quarter that I will surely have for the rest of the year. The kind of friends who grow with you. We went from staying up until 4am and watching The Office to happy hours after work and deep discussions about life. I can't wait for our Google Hangout on Friday! The last group of friends are my friends from work. They make waking up and going to the office every day lots of fun (work is very interesting of course!).

Now, I'll be leaving Ohio, starting a new life with new friends.

The New Super Highway

Since it's been a while since I've written in this, I guess, it might be most appropriate to start with an update.

Today marks the middle of August. Normally, this would have little bearing on my life; Ohio State used to start in late September. However, since graduating my life has taken a slight turn in life. I traveled around "extensively". Since returning to the States again (/since the last post), I have noticed that I have become a workaholic, almost. Not to say that I didn't enjoy my free time, but lately, I had been finding myself staying at the office until 6 or 7. Sadly, this also means that I have had to make other adjustments, namely, run on my own more frequently, which turns out to not be nearly as painful as I had been worrying about.

For the first time, I find myself packing up for school in mid-August. Next week, I'll be moving to the city that never sleeps to seek the knowledge of the greats ("avoid getting a job"). This upcoming commitment has been a double edge sword, filling me with confidence (I got chosen for a very exclusive graduate program!) and casting doubt in myself (How did I get here? Am I ready?). More and more so, I have been looking at my new life (graduate student) as a rare opportunity. It's funny how things work out. A year ago at this time, I was freaking out about the future. My plan for medical school was falling apart, while my path to graduate school was all but certain. Now, with the help of my research advisors, lots of practice, and (probably) a whole lot of luck, my rare opportunity has turned into a new life path.

So here's to a new fork in the road that went from being hidden in the dark and forbidden forest to the new super highway. If you wanted a preview of my very immediately upcoming life: PhD Comics.

A Little Bit of Community

Last night, as I was watching the USA National Team game, I happened to see that the next screen over at the bar was this year's Wisconsin/Ohio State game that made Braxton Miller famous. By this time, the USA game was well over (it was never really a game to begin with). Even though, I'm quite sure everyone at the bar had already watched this particular football game (and some probably over and over). However, when the moment came for Miller to make his running pass that would catapult him to prominence, everyone focused on a single screen, and anyone who talked was instantly glared at. As Devin Smith caught the ball, the entire bar erupted in cheers and applause 9 months and many replays later.

Even though I have written about this before a lot, it never fails to surprise me. The community here depends so much on football. When I first started at Ohio State, I hated this fact. That Ohio State was defined by its football. As I have lived here for four years now, I have begun to see that perhaps the relationship is a little more complex. That perhaps, while it is football that (sadly) brings us together, it is the people that make up the community. This undoubtedly creates a fanboy collection; however, this is found everywhere, and I certainly do not see myself turning into one anytime soon.

Endings

As I start approaching the inevitable end of my college experience, it is only appropriate to take a slight look open. On the eve of my next step forward, I spent most of my day and night relaxing, but also review the past three years. However; this entry is not to lament the past, but to cherish the journey that I have traveled, and the light at the end of the road.

I can say that I am very happy to be reaching the city limits of where I will be eventually exiting. Over the next few weeks, I will be calling many people and traveling to different places. Even just a few months before, I would have never imagined this. That the ending that I seek is in the final straight stretch. No more long winding turns to make. The path of college is beginning to become less forked for the first time since three years ago.

Short and sweet, plus this was super meaningful. I like it.

New Years and a New Beginning

So there are multiple advantages to posting one's Resolutions online. They are easy to access, and along those lines, it is easy for people to pressure you into sticking or doing them (at least, the "perception" of this is also very strong). While I tend not to make these because they may make me sad when I don't do them all (like several from last year), there's always hope for a better year right? I actually wasn't too bad last year. I hit 3 out of the 4 or 5 that I set for myself.

1. Keep my room clean: I am not a slob. At least, I don't consider myself one. While filling out the college roommate form, I marked myself as cluttered (defined as: having lots of stuff, but organizing them in a particular way). I am hoping; however, that attention to little things such as keeping my desk clear or making my bed every morning, will be encourage the development of a more organized lifestyle. I try pretty hard at this actually, Evernote and my meticulously designed folder system in Gmail and on my computer are testaments to this, but I find that my anal attentiveness has its limits.

2. Give a compelling argument to graduate schools: There are many things that I cannot control anymore, my GRE scores, my letters of recommendation, my GPA (for the most part), but there are things that I can still control. My goal this year is to submit the remaining applications to the best of my abilities. Naturally this resolution also includes getting into graduate school.

3. Qualify for the Boston Marathon: This has been my goal throughout college, but one that has evaded me during the last three and a half years. Throughout the last three years, I had spent my time building up both my physical strength and confidence to train and prepare for a marathon with a qualifying goal time. This past summer, all my efforts came to a shattering halt when I got hurt during my first 20 mile run. After spending most of my fall on recovering, cross-training and mentally resting, I find myself ready to once again chase my dream. My target marathon is the Cleveland Marathon, and my target time is anything quicker than 3 hours.

4. Enjoy the rest of senior year: So far this academic year has been filled with solidifying my closest friendships in college, especially with those who are grades below me. Given my enduring friendship with the group that I graduated high school with, I would say that spending time and enjoying the rest of my senior year with my closest friends is pretty important and defining.

5. A new hobby: A conscious decision that I made during the summer of my freshmen year was to consolidate what I devoted my time to. During the last three years, I have faithfully stuck to that decision. Despite several attempts during sophomore year to reach out, I maintained four core areas: school, research, volunteering and running. One of the biggest parts of my life that got cut during college was a creative hobby. After dabbling in a couple of "failed" creative projects during sophomore and junior year, I find myself wanting to try again in this area. While I occasionally finger at the piano while I am at home, I find it difficult to steal a practice room in the music department. Additionally, I already recognize that it will be very hard for me to return to my previous level of devotion. I hope that this year, I can find something to replace this former love of mine.

On a semi-related note: I discovered a new website, Thought Catalogue, that I really like. I found it from a friend's post. The article that I read incidentally was about New Year's Resolutions. Needless to say, I thought very highly of the post and am now addicted to this site. Check it out!

Lots of Food and New Things

Definitely one of the best vacations I've had in a very long time. The improper grammar should be an indication of its greatness. So without further ado, here is a sneak peak!

Somehow, my mom, brother and I managed to persuade my dad to go on a cruise for Christmas (with all the other family friends of course). The one vacation that had evaded my family (a couple of us are particularly prone to motion-sickness) was finally within grasps. After suffering through the long drive to Miami, we got on the cruise with just enough time to spare.

Almost immediately after getting onto the cruise, I started to eat, which resulted in this:

Fast forward through a safety drill, and I watched one of my first sunsets in a very long time:

Dinner was quite impressive, and my Mahi Mahi tasted really good. Fortunately, I didn't know that I could order multiples of things (which lead to delicious overeating of desert the next few nights), so I only ordered one dish from each course. That night I desperately tried to catch up on reading Brisingr (probably the only time, I have for casual reading).

The second morning, my brother and I spent most of our day in Nassau, Bahamas. There we snorkeled (picture way above is the water there). Snorkeling was so much fun; I'm definitely buying some equipment before next time. After a quick nap while everyone else was running around trying to find things to do, we went to dinner, where my brother promptly decided to stuff himself (2 entree dishes). The comedy show after dinner, was the greatest case of a mix bag performance ever. Trying to occupy our time afterwards, our group decided to play Mafia. However, the effort to demonstrate to our parents how to play the game quickly turned south and quickly reminded me why I rarely play games with my parents.

The third day, we went to a private beach (I can't believe cruise lines own their own islands).

After deciding to sleep in on Christmas for the first time in who knows how many years, I finally got up at around 10, thanks to my persistent alarm (my mom). A quick breakfast, and my family and I were on the tender heading towards the island. The sand on the island was so clean and soft compared to the hard, gritty sand in Michigan. Besides burying my brother in the sun a couple of times, I also had a healthy dose of sun, snorkeling, turkey burgers and sleep. Dinner was fine as always, and our final night was filled with a surprisingly good Christmas show (the singers were really good). After the show, my friends and I sat out on the deck and played board games. It was so nice and peaceful; I miss it already. Overall, it was a wonderful trip, and you can bet that I'll be going on more.