Weekly Update or How Not to Study For Exams

In keeping with the tradition of my two psychology midterms, I have decided that it would be most wise to not study and instead sit in front of my computer and come to revelations instead of studying for physics. Except whenever I do this, I somehow end up with a bunch of questions and very few if any answers.

As I listen to the music from my laptop, it scarcely surprises me that I'm listening to "You Found Me" by The Fray. While I'm not exactly trying to find God, I guess it would be fair to say that I am definitely trying to find something. But how do you know what to look for when you don't know what you're trying to find? It seems like I've found the parts of my life that are easy: what I want to do (occupation-wise), what I enjoy doing now and probably for a while, and set of close friends spread across the country. Is it possible for a webcomic written for geeks actually be right about something other than being geeky?

As I listen to recent Fray CD, I have continually wondered which one is my favorite song. It seems that it is a question I cannot answer, with any near consistency. At first it was "You Found Me", but then it quickly became "Never Say Never". As I think about what my favorite song on the CD is, I realize that it depends just as much on my mood at the time, as how my relationship with my best friend is. For a while, "Say When" was a song that quickly progressed up my most played playlist. Perhaps, now my favorite song, is the one that I looked up the lyrics last time. At first, I listened to "Syndicate" because of it's tune and the music around it. When I got past simply listening to the song, the lyrics hit me. While this is not the first time I have heard a song with this theme, to me, this song is the most realistic, possibly. I guess, I can only hope.

As I go through my days, I wonder whether I still continue to live in the daze that surrounded me when school began this year. An eerie, uncharacteristic optimism motivated me past all that I had attempted for before. If this daze still surrounds me, am I right to still continue to feed off of it? But if it has passed, is this what I am looking for again? Am I right to look for it again, or is this something I should let go seeking for? So many questions, so little directions. How I miss the olden days when it was ok to ask for my parents advice.

For now, I guess I should focus on questions that I can answer though. Surprisingly, I can actually do physics, which means that it's way too easy right now. I am not complaining though, just commenting.

Update or Yet Another Week Coming to a close soon

So as the weeks of the quarter start to pass, I find it appropriate to reflect on the past two weeks and a half. This quarter has definitely taken more away my sleep :( Since the start of the quarter, the amount of sleep I've gotten has drastically decreased. Now, I'm falling asleep left and right during class. Oh boy. So far for the past few days, I've been going to sleep at like 2 and waking up before 7. Ah! I hate my life.

In other news, I'm totally looking forward to next month. I'll be done with my first exams for all my classes, first weekend, Julia's Prom, third weekend is Dashboard Confessional/Augustana concert, and fourth weekend, I'll be completely done with one of my psych classes followed by Memorial Day! I do still need to find some data to present for psych class though.

Hopefully, May will come just in time to save me from April. Not only is there insane, depressing rain (only when I don't have my umbrella), the temperature can't decide to stay warm, leaving me confused on weather to celebrate the coming of Spring.

Not So Weekly Weekly Update

Once again, I find myself in front of a computer wondering what I'm doing. With a monotonous passing of time, I find myself trying to find something to do. While I told myself I would do this or that, I end up not back where I always find myself, here, staring at a computer screen while listening to music. The funny thing is: I never feel like I actually have free time to just slouch around. I'm sure right now, there are a hundred things I should be doing: sleeping, reading, doing homework, etc. Yet I don't. I'm not doing anything not because I don't have anything to do, but more because I don't want to. Ideally, I'd like to blame this on the changing seasons/SAD, but I know I really can't. So I just continue to sit here and stare at the computer screen.

So now that I've told the world what I haven't been doing, I guess it's time to tell people what I have been doing. The first week of school was mediocre at best. Classes aren't too bad I guess, but lecture prep for physics (watching Lewin's lectures) is already killing my brain. The hospital decided that it would be cool to have me volunteer at 8:30 in the morning on Tuesdays, which while I did sign up for it, I clearly indicated that it was not my preferred time. The lab has been ok. I managed to start some cool stuff that broke from the monotony of MRI film analysis and make some microscope slides. While that may seem strange, it was definitely a good break.

Hopefully this week will turn out better. Tomorrow morning is the first time volunteering; I guess we'll see how it is.

Weekly Update or A New Break Is Upon Us!

So with the conclusion of another college quarter, I find myself thinking again and concluding again. Without a doubt, this quarter has made my life cloudier and harder to predict. Perhaps this is because of the so many options that I have given myself but not knowing which one I really want to take. Or maybe it's the exact opposite. Maybe it's because the micromanaged plan that I had at the beginning of the year isn't turning out quite how I thought it would. Perhaps I'm still clinging onto something I gave up on a long time ago (relatively long time ago).

This past quarter is not what I thought it would be. I succeeded in some areas and became indifferent in many others. While I wonder about how to take advantage of the opportunities that I've made for myself this quarter, I feel myself not wanting to take the next step to actually take advantage of them. Is it that I'm holding myself back? Or am I just futilely resisting inevitable changes in my life? Perhaps the prior and the latter are the same?

I thought that if I just stuck to the goals that I made for myself at the beginning of the quarter, I'd be fine, and my life would become better and clearer. Now at the end of the quarter, I realize that I have reached a majority of my goals. Some goals took more physical dedications; others required more disciplined patients, and still others took a persistence that I struggled to find. Finally, there is one that I didn't accomplish. So, in the end, I ask myself, is this quarter worth it? Now sitting back, do I want the options that my successes have created? I would think that I do. After all, I did just spend ten weeks to accomplish them. Where does the one goal that I didn't accomplish fit in all this then? How do you rank at the end something when you add it to a list after all the others, but then failed to achieve? It seems like life is just riddled with questions. When did my life go from a simple two-pronged fork to a trident fork to (insert correct prefix)dent fork?

I guess this break comes at a valuable time. In the last few days, I stepped back from the relentless pursuit of achievement. While this doesn't necessarily constitute a deeper understanding of this past quarter, I feel like at the end of next week, I will be ready to accomplish another set of goals, hopefully this time, answer some questions that fill my mind now. So far, I've gone to a friend's house, eaten ice cream in a thirty degree night, make a complete full of myself, watched Disney movies and answered some questions before raising many many more in its place. Hopefully, I will have many many more answers someday, but until then, I guess I'll just keep making goals and try to accomplish them.

Not Quite a Week Weekly Update or *Sigh* Exams

So it's exams weekend right now, which makes life really boring, because all you think you should do is studying. I made this wonderful study schedule on Wednesday or Thursday. Yay! Plan. Well. At least I made a plan and tried to stick to it for a whole three minutes. So my plan was to start studying on Friday, except on Friday morning, I decided not to wake up at around 8 to go to the lab to finish my stuff. Instead I decided to wake up at 10:30 and rush to the Anthropology extra credit enrichment thing. I guess. I guess waking up was worth it. The presentation wasn't that bad, except the presenter put a bunch of block quotes in the presentation that I didn't really read. So now that I'm several hours behind on my schedule, I decided to make myself even more behind by going to lab instead of studying. I decided only to stay for an hour or so, and then go to the library. While I am quite proud that I was able to stick to my modified plan, I once again failed myself when Blackwood insisted on coming to OSU for the weekend. Needless to say I went to dinner with him and Angela, which was good, I guess, seeing as how I haven't seen either of them for some time. Except then after dinner, which lasted much longer than I had planned, Blackwood came back up to my dorm before meeting Shawna. *Sigh. After Blackwood left, I finally ushered the strength to study a little, before signing online and talking to Julia, which prompted me to take a nap at like 9:30 again, which is never a good idea. So when I finally got out of my bed at 10:30, I took forever to actually wake up. Noticing that it was 11, I got back online to talk to Julia, until 1:40 ish I think. *hangs head* In order words I ended up not getting anywhere.

At this point, you'd think that I'd be super motivated to study. Except I wasn't, so I decided to get a drink of water from the water fountain outside. That turned out to be a terrible idea, seeing as how I ended up talking to people until 5 in the morning. OMG. Five in the morning. FAIL. 

Let's just not talk about how today is going. Fail. Ah! Exams are going to be so bad.

I hate exams and studying for exams. I never have enough attention span. Too bad I'm only Asian skin color-wise. I guess, now that I've ranted, maybe I'll be able to study in peace.

Why do I spend time planning, if I don't follow my plans anyway?

My miserable attempt to study is to be continued... *sigh*

Weekly Update or Why I'm So Tired

So yesterday (Tuesday) I decided to celebrate the great weather. I also forgot that arthritis is bad. Oh well. So anyway, I went running for about an hour or a little more. Working on sprints most of the time aren't too bad. After my sprint workout, I went and played racquetball for an hour and a half. After deciding that maybe that wasn't enough, I got convinced that playing an hour and a half of ultimate frisbee in the warm springtime night. While it was a bit windy, I must say that my team won twice. The first game was a blow out game. I guess four people who work out against four people who don't and one person who does doesn't work out so well. The second game was not quite a blow out, but I still won. Awesome! I guess working out before did pay off. Yay! Ha! to those who think I don't. 

Hm... so besides running around for four hours, I've also been sleeping a lot. Normally, I wouldn't be too bothered by this. Except for the fact that I feel like I'm sleeping almost ten hours a day :O That's a new record for me. Except sleeping until 30 minutes before class isn't too good of an idea, especially if I'm getting to class right when it starts. I guess I'll have to struggle to get up earlier. Boo ;(

On other notes, I have exams next week. Boo :( I've already made a study schedule. Boo some more :( I'm going to hate this next 7 days. Though I can't until Spring Break! Woo hoo! Except I'm not really going anywhere. I think I'm ok with that. Staying home, and hanging out with my friends who are home with me will be rewarding enough. Yay! At least I already know my Chines grade. Now I just have to study for psychology and anthropology. Oh boy. Anyway, the next few days of my life can be described by this awesome comic, that I currently can't find :(

Until, I looked through Marie's blog to find the link again, you can find me at an undisclosed library... Banging my head against my paperback books...

Conclusion: Studying= Student + Dying :(

Weekly Update Or Uh...

Hm... I guess not that much happened this week. Besides a short break from the lab, not much has happened I guess. I just ordered cookies, and they're getting delivered right now!

[Break]

Hm... the cookies taste awesome :) Let's see... Friday I went to see Slumdog Millionaire. That was definitely a good movie. The music was pretty interesting; it was a mix of Indian music and poppy techno music (is poppy the technically correct word?). The acting was very good for the most part. I can definitely see why this movie won the Oscar. I am also definitely watching it over spring break with Julia, lol. After the movie, the group and I went to the Pad for pizza and slushies. I had the sour green apple slushy, and it tasted like sour green apples, which is definitely a good thing. While I'm totally trying to go to sleep earlier now that I've finished most of my major assignments, I have still went to bed at 3 o'clock in the morning because I thought it would be a good idea to watch another movie from Netflix direct streaming. The movie turned out to be a terrible waste of time.

Saturday was ok for the most part, except that I managed to finish nothing that I had planned. I somehow went to lunch with Ashley at 3 and then ate dinner at 6:30. Saturday was pretty boring for the most part. Everyone left to party really late, so it didn't get quiet until almost 11:30, which lead me to start homework at 1:30. Somehow in between everything that happened, I managed to fit in a very funny 3 hour conversation with Julia, mostly about how much our lives didn't suck (fmylife --> the greatest waste of my time :D). After her call, I at least managed to start my psychology homework. I think it's probably a bad sign if I had to read the book in order to do the homework. I'm pretty sure that I took a break every five minutes though, which mean it took me two hours to do four problems :S. *sigh* Listening to the party drama wasn't that fun this weekend for some reason, I went left and went to bed sometime after 3.

Today I managed to hit myself with the racquet while playing racquetball. Now I have a purple bruise on my lip, my first badge of a racquet player... At least I didn't hit myself in the eye or anything terrible like that.

So my conclusion for life is that lack of the Office equates to boringness. This is a bad sign I think, especially since I watched Seasons 2-4 in a week and a half, all of which happened after 9 at night. Oh boy. This is going to be a very long two weeks and a half I guess. Might as well get some work done... :(