Weekly Update or A New Break Is Upon Us!

So with the conclusion of another college quarter, I find myself thinking again and concluding again. Without a doubt, this quarter has made my life cloudier and harder to predict. Perhaps this is because of the so many options that I have given myself but not knowing which one I really want to take. Or maybe it's the exact opposite. Maybe it's because the micromanaged plan that I had at the beginning of the year isn't turning out quite how I thought it would. Perhaps I'm still clinging onto something I gave up on a long time ago (relatively long time ago).

This past quarter is not what I thought it would be. I succeeded in some areas and became indifferent in many others. While I wonder about how to take advantage of the opportunities that I've made for myself this quarter, I feel myself not wanting to take the next step to actually take advantage of them. Is it that I'm holding myself back? Or am I just futilely resisting inevitable changes in my life? Perhaps the prior and the latter are the same?

I thought that if I just stuck to the goals that I made for myself at the beginning of the quarter, I'd be fine, and my life would become better and clearer. Now at the end of the quarter, I realize that I have reached a majority of my goals. Some goals took more physical dedications; others required more disciplined patients, and still others took a persistence that I struggled to find. Finally, there is one that I didn't accomplish. So, in the end, I ask myself, is this quarter worth it? Now sitting back, do I want the options that my successes have created? I would think that I do. After all, I did just spend ten weeks to accomplish them. Where does the one goal that I didn't accomplish fit in all this then? How do you rank at the end something when you add it to a list after all the others, but then failed to achieve? It seems like life is just riddled with questions. When did my life go from a simple two-pronged fork to a trident fork to (insert correct prefix)dent fork?

I guess this break comes at a valuable time. In the last few days, I stepped back from the relentless pursuit of achievement. While this doesn't necessarily constitute a deeper understanding of this past quarter, I feel like at the end of next week, I will be ready to accomplish another set of goals, hopefully this time, answer some questions that fill my mind now. So far, I've gone to a friend's house, eaten ice cream in a thirty degree night, make a complete full of myself, watched Disney movies and answered some questions before raising many many more in its place. Hopefully, I will have many many more answers someday, but until then, I guess I'll just keep making goals and try to accomplish them.