Weekly Update or Finals

As I sit in front of the TV, watching Master and Commander, talking to a dear friend, my mind begins to wonder from myself, the movie, my upcoming final. As school comes to an end, so much crosses my mind. What are the memories that will follow after this year? How have I changed this year? Am I really ready for what I want to do, what I want to be? Am I ready to move past the what I'm not, what I didn't become?

All these questions must wait for another time I guess. I guess what I wish for the most right now is some direction in my life. When is does it become ok to impose on someone? While I believe the answer is never, I know that there are probably plenty of times when people can say that I imposed. So what makes me so cautious about this time? Perhaps the want to make things right again, or the want to give us at least some hope in the future, or something else is driving me back to the ultra-conservative-usually-wrong perspective.

Giving advice seems something so easy to do. You listen to the story and you weigh your opinion. Walking the walk, then, becomes the test. When we listen to others give advice, are we really listening or are we just wanting to hear something. I know I have so many times, sought advice for pure confirmation of what I was doing. Now that I have no opinion, utterly lost in the stormy seas of personal confusion, I try so hard to figure out what I want to hear. I hope soon that clarity reaches me. Until then, I hope that my dear close friends come to me again, and keep coming until I find my personal calm.